Sunday, December 4, 2011
Oh. Christmas. Tree.
Well, I did it. Inspired by the "decorating for Christmas the day after American Thanksgiving" tradition of two of my siblings, I loaded my children, my father in law and a friend of Katie's into the van on a chilly December 2nd, and headed to the garden center. Initially overwhelmed by the selection of trees available (we usually wait at least 2 weeks longer to get a tree and there are maybe 4 Charlie Brown styles left), we decided on the second tree we saw, loaded it onto the van, paid for it (handsomely) and started home...
We made it about 500m, when the tree flew off of the roof, almost wiping out 4 cars travelling behind us. By the time we turned around, a kind gentleman had pulled over, hoisted it up, and was carrying it toward our van. We thanked him, refastened the cut wonder to the roof, and slowly made the drive the rest of the way home.
At home, it was carried directly to the already decorated living room, where the stand stood ready, and we plunked it's fresh-cut trunk into it...fastened it in place...filled it with life-giving water, and let it stand for an hour or so before the decorating began.
We had a wonderful evening of Christmas tunes playing, eating warm, sticky cinnamon bread, and enjoying the memories associated with the decorations that we pulled out of the boxes...our green beauty smelled so good, looked great and we were ready for Christmas on December the 2nd!!
Today is December the 4th. The prickly browning thing in my living room hasn't absorbed a drop of water, but has dropped a few needles and several ornaments. We can't cut it again without undecorating it, we can't find a drill to pop a few hopeful holes into it, and it appears Christmas did in fact come early...and as far as the life of our tree...it may already be over.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lights, Camera...Duh.
A sense of humour is a wonderful thing. Mine has gotten me through awkward moments, sad moments, moments of ignorance, loss, bewilderment...you name it, I have probably laughed a little through it, and often had someone laughing along with me.
Why is it then, as soon as someone wants to point a recording device in my general direction, I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say?? This happened to me again, just the other night. After participating in a coed hockey (for dummies) game which ended at 12:15am, during which I found plenty to laugh and joke about, someone wanted to film me for a "player spotlight" which gets posted on the leagues' website. The guy in the previous spotlight used every British expression he had learned after his year in England and attempted to sing God Save The Queen during his interview. How do I follow that? I declined of course, but he insisted; I declined, he plead; I declined, he told me where to meet him off of the ice; I suggested he get someone else, he sent a girl into the changeroom to make me go out and face the camera.
"It's easy" he says..."I'll just ask you some questions, wait about two seconds and answer them." Ugh. Okay. Easy. Red light on. Funny section of brain off.
He started me out having me state my name and how long I have played in the league...I got the name right, but was off by a year in the length of time played...nobody will notice that. Hard to make that funny.
Next, which teams had I played for? Ummm....it was easy to take two seconds, because I really had to think about that one...I remembered the first two, but couldn't readily remember last year's team....this was my first missed chance to say something funny because everyone knows I played for the Leafs last year (a jersey that made me shudder to don each week) and had I been quicker, I might have said I'd blocked it out or some sarcastic quip to irk all of the Leaf fans in the league, but no, just umm, uh, "I can't remember". Duh.
The questions came...what's your favorite part about hockey, what do you hope to see happen this season, what do you like to do for fun, and so on...it became like a bad first date where I couldn't think straight and gave the most boring responses possible (just to be sure I didn't get asked out again)...I missed opportunity after opportunity to make a joke, a quick comeback, a playful jab...
Then, the final question, "do you think there is anyone shorter than you in the league?". Funny question, right? I could have said, (since the angle of decline on the camera he was holding was not very big).."other than you?' or I could've simply stated my team owner's name (which would have gotten at least a laugh out of a few people), but my response..."No." Wow. That was hilarious.
His final words to me? "Uh, thanks...I can edit a lot of it."
Why is it then, as soon as someone wants to point a recording device in my general direction, I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say?? This happened to me again, just the other night. After participating in a coed hockey (for dummies) game which ended at 12:15am, during which I found plenty to laugh and joke about, someone wanted to film me for a "player spotlight" which gets posted on the leagues' website. The guy in the previous spotlight used every British expression he had learned after his year in England and attempted to sing God Save The Queen during his interview. How do I follow that? I declined of course, but he insisted; I declined, he plead; I declined, he told me where to meet him off of the ice; I suggested he get someone else, he sent a girl into the changeroom to make me go out and face the camera.
"It's easy" he says..."I'll just ask you some questions, wait about two seconds and answer them." Ugh. Okay. Easy. Red light on. Funny section of brain off.
He started me out having me state my name and how long I have played in the league...I got the name right, but was off by a year in the length of time played...nobody will notice that. Hard to make that funny.
Next, which teams had I played for? Ummm....it was easy to take two seconds, because I really had to think about that one...I remembered the first two, but couldn't readily remember last year's team....this was my first missed chance to say something funny because everyone knows I played for the Leafs last year (a jersey that made me shudder to don each week) and had I been quicker, I might have said I'd blocked it out or some sarcastic quip to irk all of the Leaf fans in the league, but no, just umm, uh, "I can't remember". Duh.
The questions came...what's your favorite part about hockey, what do you hope to see happen this season, what do you like to do for fun, and so on...it became like a bad first date where I couldn't think straight and gave the most boring responses possible (just to be sure I didn't get asked out again)...I missed opportunity after opportunity to make a joke, a quick comeback, a playful jab...
Then, the final question, "do you think there is anyone shorter than you in the league?". Funny question, right? I could have said, (since the angle of decline on the camera he was holding was not very big).."other than you?' or I could've simply stated my team owner's name (which would have gotten at least a laugh out of a few people), but my response..."No." Wow. That was hilarious.
His final words to me? "Uh, thanks...I can edit a lot of it."
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